Domestic Violence Affects Children's Behaviours

"There is absolutely no problem in beating up your wife, our fathers used to do it. That's a proper way to 'tame' your wife," says Henry

Henry (real man withheld) is one of the men who believe women are wild therefore the wildness needs to be taken away through beating.

He says he grew up in an environment where there was no peace. He recalls how his father used to beat up his mother in the presence of the children. Henry says the experience traumatised him and to him it ended up being normal.

His father would beat up his mother and he does not remember any day when his mother ran away from her marriage. To Henry, it was a way of making sure a woman is upright. Hence when he wants to correct his wife, beating her up is the best solution.

Depressed child. Source- google images

I have then come to a conclusion that an environment has the power to influence one’s behaviour. When children live with domestic and family violence, they are experiencing trauma. It can be trauma which is ongoing and long-lasting and this affects every part of their functioning. The effects build up over time, and can impact on every aspect of their life. Even in schools, children living with domestic violence can be seen harassing their fellows. For them, beating up someone is the ideal way to correct someone. 

Domestic Violence affects children especially their behaviours – they can act out, over-react, be hostile, impulsive, aggressive or defiant. They can also withdraw or dissociate or run away. All these behaviours can be normal to children who have been traumatised by family domestic violence, and do not mean the children have ‘disorders’. 

 I guess for parents, it is certainly not in your interest to raise depressed children. Live in peace and harmony so that your children behave in a rational manner wherever they go. As they grow, let them know that violence is bad and they will not be violent to anyone.

Apart from affecting their behaviors, it affects their relationships with others, emotions and development. If a child grows up in an environment of fights, they will equally fight others where they go because to them peace is foreign. 

May peace prevail in your families; let it not be a foreign phenomenon to your home.