Sometimes Patience Does Not Pay

Sarah tells her story of how she had a miscarriage

My husband started behaving strange when l got pregnant with our third child. Everytime he came from work, he will find something to blame on me. Sometimes he would complain about how l would have cooked food and will go on to refuse eating. I remember, the other day l had not cooked because there was no electricity and there was no other source of energy l could use, it was hell for me that night. I was heavily beaten in front of our two children. It was around 10 pm when all that happened, l cried for help but that did not help because he had locked the door such that l could not go out and no one could come in to rescue me. 

With bruises all over my body, the next morning l went to report to my aunty who then advised me not to report him to the police. The best she did was to escort me back to my house telling me that l had to be patient and learn to endure. She told me “marriage is a school where we encounter even the worst challenges but all we need is to be strong and patient enough as women”

My aunty tells me “that is normal in marriage” and goes on to narrate how her husband used to beat her up before he passed away and that she never opted to quit. By so doing she was trying to stress her point that l am not the first and the only one in that situation. She tells me “marriage is not easy my daughter, every marriage has got its own challenges but “ukubekezela kuqakathekile” meaning (patience is very important). Had l known that the worst was coming, l should not have gone back to that house. To me marriage was hell, well for some it was bliss. 

I was five months pregnant when l had a miscarriage. My husband had not been home for two consecutive days and upon asking where he had been we had a long argument before he bashed me with bench and l can also remember him kicking me several times. We had been having fights but that was the worst of all. All l remember is that l saw myself at Mpilo Hospital not knowing how l got there and that is how l lost my baby......the one l never got a chance to hold with my hands.

There was no reason of going back to that house; l went back to my people with my two children..... went back home a bitter woman though. As l speak l am a bitter woman,  the experience of losing a baby l had not yet held in my arms was painful and is still painful.

End

Honestly, women it is time to rise up together and say No To Violence.

Sarah’s husband should not have gone to that extent and  such man must not be tolerated in the society. Justice should be accordingly delivered to them. Sometimes patience does not pay, let it be applied where it is necessary. Why should you be patient when the worst has already been done to you. One might want to say it is a bad advice, but women l plead with you with all the strands in my body, if a man continues to abuse you, pack what is yours and run with you dear life. For Sarah’s aunty abuse is normal.....let it not be normal to you....run with your precious life